“Will you help me control my thinking?” The airport shuttle driver’s question surprised me. He’d obviously overheard my conversation with the woman leaving the shuttle. His landlady, who called herself a Christian, had wronged him. Hurt and anger showed in his eyes.
How could I help this man see that to be freed from his pain he needed to forgive the woman who’d caused it?
I’m sure people have hurt and disappointed you too. It’s part of life on planet earth. Maybe that’s why Jesus included forgiveness in the prayer He taught his disciples.
“Forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us” (Matt. 6:12 NLT).
Isn’t it ironic that we must forgive the ones we least want to forgive? This isn’t a cruel joke. It’s protection. Granting forgiveness heals our wounds and frees our souls.
[bctt tweet=”Isn’t it ironic that we must forgive the ones we least want to forgive? This isn’t a cruel joke. It’s protection. Granting forgiveness heals our wounds and frees our souls. @DebbieWWilson #RechargeWednesday” username=”PatHolbrook”]
Some articles I’ve read on forgiveness presented platitudes that do more harm than good. They paint forgiveness as a magic wand that erases all pain. They say residual hurt feelings indicate unforgiveness. That may be true in some cases. But in others, the hurt reveals the depth of the wound.
Scratches heal quickly. But deep injuries take time to mend. Forgiveness sets healing in motion.
[bctt tweet=”Scratches heal quickly. But deep injuries take time to mend. #Forgiveness sets healing in motion. #RechargeWednesday” username=”PatHolbrook”]
Sometimes we want to avoid the hard work of forgiving, so we tell ourselves, “It’s no big deal.” Or we say, “This is too big. They don’t deserve to be forgiven.”
When we face resistance, it helps to remember who benefits most from our forgiveness. We do—as well as those we love.
They may not deserve our forgiveness. But do we deserve to prolong our suffering by holding on to the sharp barbs of bitterness? Or do our loved ones deserve to live with the hostility of our resentment or be shaped by a destructive example?
Forgiveness always benefits the one who gives it. And it protects our loved ones, because bitterness is a poisonous root that spreads (Hebrews 12:15).
[bctt tweet=”#Forgiveness always benefits the one who gives it. #RechargeWednesday” username=”PatHolbrook”]
The person who wronged us may not even realize our turmoil—or care. They may be dead. But if our resentment lives on, we suffer. And our resentment spills on those close to us.
Bitterness not only drains our joy; it erects a barrier between us and God. He hasn’t moved, but we feel distant. Tormented souls snap at small irritations, miss the beauty around them, and injure anyone in their wake. How many spouses, children, and coworkers suffer because of someone’s unwillingness to forgive?
Forgiveness frees us from these damaging effects.
Christ Is Our Example
Christ forgives injuries –
- done in ignorance
- done intentionally
- that appear slight
- that cause tremendous harm
Your freedom is at stake. Forgive to free yourself from turmoil. Forgive for the sake of those you love.
I explained the benefit of forgiveness with my shuttle driver. When we reached the airport, he handed me my luggage. “I’m going to do what you said,” he smiled. “I am going to be free.”
What about you? Are you ready to be free? Forgiveness brings freedom for the one who forgives. Forgive—For your sake and the sake of all you love—including Jesus.
[bctt tweet=”Are you ready to be free? Forgiveness brings freedom for the one who forgives. Forgive—For your sake and the sake of all you love—including Jesus. @DebbieWWilson #RechargeWednesday” username=”PatHolbrook”]
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The parable of the servant who was forgiven a great debt yet wouldn’t forgive someone else a smaller debt really helped me with forgiveness. God has already forgiven me the biggest offenses, much more than any smaller sin done to me. If I look at the person who wronged me, I’m stuck on the fact that they did wrong. If I look at the One who forgave me, I see His great grace in forgiving me when I didn’t deserve it, and that helps me to forgive in turn.
Barbara, that is a wonderful passage on forgiveness. I like how you said, “If I look at the One who forgave me, I see His great grace in forgiving me when I didn’t deserve it, and that helps me to forgive in turn.” Amen!
What an incredible opportunity God gave you to share truth with that man!
And now with us…
Blessings to you!
Thank you, Michele, and to you!
I love thinking of forgiveness as protection. What an inspiring way to shift our perspectives!
Rebecca, it certainly helps me. And after working as a Christian counselor for many years, I’ve seen the truth of it in those who do and those who don’t.
I long to help my son forgive. He says it’s not about the wrongs done to him by a past relationship (they share a young child together), but rather the hurt and manipulation he feels she inflicts upon their son. That type of anger and resentment “feels” justifiable, but it brings the same destruction. So hard.
J. M. I have a series on forgiveness on my website. I talk about boundaries and the difference between forgiveness and trust. It is hard to have to deal with someone who continues to wrong us or those we love. “Boundaries” by Henry Cloud and John Townscend might be a good resource for him.
It’s commanded is why we should forgive. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy. laurensparks.net
You are right about that, Lauren. It takes supernatural strength which the Holy Spirit supplies in some cases.
Great and biblical teaching on forgiving, Debbie. Glad the shuttle driver overheard your conversation (nothing is coincidence) and desired to really be free. I agree, healing from a deeper injury takes time, but what starts the healing process is applying the soothing balm of forgiving our offender.
Karen, wasn’t that amazing! You’re right, not a coincidence.
Scratches heal quickly; wound take longer…but both require forgiveness.
Thanks for this post.
Thank you, Nylse.
Always such a challenging topic. Thanks for gentleness and truth in love, Debbie. Praise Him for His forgiveness! This reminds me of His goodness and how much I want to forgive as He does.
Yes, Bethany! That we would be like Him.
Debbie,
I just love how profound, yet simple the message of this post is! Anyone who was or is bound by unforgiveness knows it too well: We are the ones truly hurt when we don’t release those who hurt us.
This sentence says it all: “Your freedom is at stake. Forgive to free yourself from turmoil. Forgive for the sake of those you love.”
So blessed by your writing, sister! May God continue to anoint you as you share His truth!
Patricia, thank you, so much. Bless you, my friend!