Are you done with your Christmas shopping ? Are you the kind of person who’s in a rush and picks out whatever’s on sale or do you carefully choose each gift, thoughtfully imagining how that person will react when they open it?

Are the gifts you give the kind you want remembered?

A few years ago around this time I went to a luncheon at the home of a childhood friend. Though we didn’t see each other much during the year we always exchanged gifts on birthdays and Christmas.

Upon my arrival she gave me a tour of her home so I could view all the changes she’d made  since my last visit.

Several times during the house tour she stopped and said, do you remember …  and then pointed to an object I had given her as a Christmas gift – an angel, a candle, a monogrammed towel. I was surprised she remembered each one and also the year it was given.

I nodded graciously as she proudly pointed out each gift. Though I gave them careful consideration at the time I chose them, I didn’t recall them now but my friend remembered each with fondness.

I went home that afternoon and looked around my own home.  I noticed I could do the same. I could point out all the gifts that friends had given me. Each one held a special memory.

Sweet treasures to be remembered.

Our words are gifts too. And every day we give them. Some are carefully thought out. Some are hastily thrown out.

I’ve spoken more than my share of words I wish were forgotten.

A few months after the luncheon David and I attended an engagement party for the daughter of another long time friend. I saw my friend’s husband standing alone (we hadn’t seen him in years) so David and I went over and started up a conversation. We told him about an upcoming trip we were taking for our anniversary. Remembering my friend and her husband were married just six months before us, I congratulated him on their up coming anniversary.

I must have hit a nerve. With a smirk and a not-so-funny chuckle he sarcastically squawked, “Yeah and you said we wouldn’t last a year.”

My face turned crimson and I felt about two feet tall. Having no recollection of such a prediction, I squeaked out a, “Did I really say that to you?”

Well, apparently I did some thirty-odd years ago.

My words were thoughtless, and unfortunatley, ones my girlfriend’s husband never forgot.

That’s how words can be like gifts. We can carefully choose the ones we give in the expectation of encouraging the receiver or thoughtlessly grab whatever’s been haphazardly left on the shelf in our mind.

We need to be aware that just like the material gifts we give, our words can hang around the recipient’s memory for a lifetime. And the words that get remembered are not always the words we want to be remembered by.

In this season of gift giving when we ponder what to give family and friends, let us consider the words we might bestow as well.

We should consider giving the kind we might want someone to give us. Those that are free of malice and contention; words of encouragement that would bring a smile to our face, love to our heart, and forgiveness to our soul.

The good gifts we want remembered.

“There are those who speak rashly, like the piercing of a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing” (Proverbs 12:18).


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