“I feel like I’ve been walking in circles for a long time.”
“I can’t concentrate.”
“I’m in a fog most of the time.”
“I know I came upstairs for a reason, but I can’t remember it!”
“I just want to be alone. If only they would be quiet for 5 minutes!”
If I could have a dollar for each time I either thought or said one of these things for the past couple of years, I would be rich by now.
It’s like something got a hold of my brain… and froze it.
On some days, I thought I was going crazy. On others, a typical fear that cancer survivors have would get a hold of my heart… Could the cancer be back, this time, in my brain?
Guilt, fear, confusion, sadness… on some days, these awful feelings took turns, tormenting me off and on throughout the day.
“What is going on, Lord? Have I disappointed You?”
“Is there sin in my life? Please show me, Lord!”
“In the Name of Jesus, devil – go away!”
It’s true – only by the grace of God have I been able to continue doing what He has called me to do for the past two years. Writing has been difficult, praying has been hard, and on some days… just being around the people I love was a burden.
Hormonal changes.
Sigh.
Yep. I know, I know. TMI.
If you are a man, or a girl in her 20’s or 30’s, please bear with me. There are many gals out there who need this message today.
My daddy is an amusing fellow. He’s 83 years old and has a wonderful outlook in life. He is grateful for each morning and has a positive attitude, most of the time. But if you ask him about old age, he will tell you straight up:
“I don’t know why they call it the Golden Years. There’s nothing shiny about it.”
Yep. I’m with you, daddy.
I’m still far from reaching my “golden years,” but an early menopause has given me a taste of what is to come… And I don’t like it. Not.One.Bit. Call me vain, but is there anyone who enjoys the first signs of wrinkles? Hot flashes? Brain fog?
Sorry, y’all – but this Jesus-loving, Bible-believing girl won’t lie: It “ain’t” fun.
And it’s ok to say so.
Changes in life, even those absolutely natural, were not meant to be easy. And there’s nothing wrong with admitting that we are not doing so good. It does not make us weak Christians. It makes us real people.
Truth be told, even though there are women who go through menopause without many changes or concerns, the greatest majority suffers. And without proper help, something that is a natural part of life can become a dark, deep valley.
Mountain Highs and Valley Lows
Some time ago, my husband showed me this picture:
It’s a simple, childish drawing, yet pregnant with deep meaning.
If we could draw the plan for our lives, it would certainly be a straight line: We would be born, go through school getting all A’s, get into our college of choice (with a full-ride scholarship, mind you), meet our sweetheart on the last year of college, get married (and sweetheart would be a rich and godly man), have wonderful, beautiful, healthy and uber smart kiddos, hold hands with our boo ‘til we both reach those ‘Golden Years’ (and of course – they would be shiny, menopause-free too!)… and finally die, in our sleep, smiling… just to wake up and see our Lord face to face.
Ahhh! A straight, clean and clear path!
But you and I know better.
And so does Yahweh.
God has better plans for us. And His plan has two main objectives: Make us increasingly more like Jesus… and use us to bring others to Him. And He cannot accomplish this without those valley lows and storms, as shown in the picture.
Getting older and all the good stuff that comes with it – including the dreadful menopause – they are all tools that He can use to bring us closer to Him.
The questions is… how should we respond?
First of all – thank Heavens! There is help. Right here, on earth. Help with arms, and feet… and a brain!
[bctt tweet=”I am so grateful we live at a day and age when God has given men and women wisdom to develop treatments that can help us navigate life’s valleys without losing our minds!” username=”PatHolbrook”]
Let me tell you, girlfriend: God uses various means to bring healing to you. And doctors and medications are certainly one of them. If you need hormonal replacement therapy, there are many safer, more natural options out there. Talk to someone. Help your body through this valley. Your family will be grateful you did (as my husband says “Amen” in the background.)
Secondly, but certainly most importantly, remember this:
God.Sees.YOU.
He knit you together in your mother’s womb… all the days ordained for you were written in His book before one of them came to be (Psalm 139:15-16), including the bad, dark days. Yes, including the days when this uninvited, unwelcome guest called menopause barges in.
The valleys and difficult natural phases we go through in this fallen world were not meant to destroy us, but rather, strengthen us. The deep waters won’t drown you. The sadness won’t overcome you. He will take you from the valley to the plains, from the storm to the mountaintop… and, in the process, oh – this glorious thought:
[bctt tweet=”On the other side of each hardship, you’ll become less like you, and more like Jesus.” username=”PatHolbrook”]
Today, I am here to testify, that even though I was tempted not to seek help, due to prejudice, I admit… I am so glad I did! The clouds have slowly lifted from my head, and I smile again. Best of all! I can pray, read my bible without losing my train of thoughts. I can sit and be still before my God for a long time…
Nothing is worth risking that marvelous communion. Don’t you agree?
Praise you, Father!
Thank you that the waters of confusion did not drown me. Thank you for giving me the wisdom to seek the help I needed to come out of the valley, and into Your light, once again. May these words bring hope to someone who is hurting… and light to someone who was confused as I was, not too long ago. And to You, not medications or doctors…but to YOU ALONE be the glory, forever and ever!
Amen.
PS: If you are suffering through menopause, leave a comment below and I promise to pray for you!
Of course there is another perspective of this too. And it is the husband’s perspective. But God makes it clear what our response is to be.
Scripture tells us the we’re to live with our wife in an understanding way. Praise the Lord it does not say that we are to understand y’all, just live with you in an understanding way.
Love your work and your Insight Patricia.
Love your perspective. I am so grateful for an understanding husband! I know not every woman has the support that they need from their spouses, so I thank God for mine! Thanks for stopping by, Mark! Blessings,
Thanks for baring your soul and struggles, Patricia. It will be helpful to many. Your symptoms are similar to the never ending struggle many have, including me, with auto-immune issues. Those conditions are much harder to diagnose. So glad you have received the help you need, so that you can continue to bless so many lives.
I have auto-immune too, Frieda! It’s hard to know what is what, but the Hormones seem to be helping a lot! Thank you for your encouragement! Blessings to you!
It was an unwelcome guest initially, as it just showed up without any warning. But God.
I think I appreciate this stage of my life more than my younger years. Because what this unwelcome guest eventually brings is newfound clarity and energy. I wish more women understood that once the dust settles you will have the energy to do the things you want but there’s a huge caveat – you must take care of yourself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
Find a good gynecologist that can work with you. Do blood work so that you really understand what’s happening in your body. Drink lots of water and eat healthily. Fried processed foods increase hot flashes which lead to other irritability.
Moisturize your skin and replenish your collagen to prevent crepey skin and wrinkles.
Every season is an opportunity for God to impart wisdom and to get to know him better. Thanks for sharing.
Great to know things are better for you, Nylse. Your advice is good. We need to take care of our bodies with extra care as we get older. Thanks for stopping by!
Honest and beautiful! Thank you Patricia!
Patricia, how I love your honesty and candor here! So many women struggle with menopause, and I can attest to the help of hormone treatment. God has been so good to provide competent doctors to help us through the process, which is, indeed, life changing. My gynecologist is a devout Christian in whom I can fully trust.
Blessings!
That message blessed a great many women Patricia pointing them to Jesus for as He said, I am the Lord who heals you and He is not going to share the glory you brought Him with this message with anyone.
I pray that He will, Walt. I just wish to honor Him and point others to the One True Healer!